The aftermath of ‘the shock’, I guess is this paralysing fear.
The routine of sleeping for a couple of hours and then waking up with a jerk…The heart pounding ferociously. Just the sound of dogs barking at a distance, my mind racing… recalling what now seems like a figment of my imagination.
Why do I lie in bed, struggling in the dark, with a phone in my hand trying to type thoughts I wouldn’t want to share with my friends ? The answer my friend lies in a soppy Rom -Com. Susan Sarandon mushing over the reasons for marriage. Something to the effect- we all just need someone to witness our lives. I guess, this monologue substitutes wedlock.
There is a truth to it, though. The narcissistic human desire for a witness, I mean. The need to create stems from that too.
But I will mull over this another time. The distraction of this exercise has subsided the fear. Time to grab a few winks.