Decision

Over the past year, I have imagined many a times what it would be like to bump into people from my former life. Asking the Universe for only one thing…that when I do, it shouldn’t be in a vulnerable moment.

And I have bumped into a few of them along the way and of course they’ve looked right through me! But it’s understandable. Everyone stands with the stronger party… I won’t forget it. But I don’t grudge it. Though, there’s one friend…I won’t mention his name..don’t want him to get into trouble with the others…who was nice enough to say, ‘we shouldn’t be strangers’. Of course, we shouldn’t! Everyone comes into our life for a purpose and when that’s done we part ways. Parting doesn’t have to be bitter. The nicest part about what this friend did- wasn’t just what he said but that he didn’t say it in front of an audience or play it for the gallery. It wasn’t done to show everyone, neither my friends nor his, what a nice person he was. It was an act of genuine courtesy and kindness.

Today-Making my Mother do anything, is like going into battle. It requires a mix of persuasion, stubbornness and aggression. So, my Father leaves it on me..he likes to be the good cop. I’m great at playing the Bad Cop. Somehow, manage to take her to meet her Doctor, with the help of my soldiers. As I’m sitting there waiting with a nurse and a domestic help- in trots in a person from my past life. She just sits down- her butt glued to her seat and watches as we take my Mother to see the Doctor and then kart her out in the wheelchair. My former friend has the best seats in the house and she sits there as a mere spectator, while the people around try to help. The funny thing is, if there was an audience, someone who would say how nice this lady was, she would have sprung up from her seat, immediately. But there are no witnesses and how and why should we be courteous, then?

It’s been a strange year and half. I’ve learnt many harsh realities of life. But the most crucial lesson I’ve learnt is this- At some point in  life, we have to decide what we are going to choose to remember. We can choose to remember the latter and say the world is a horrible place- where relationships are based only on money, sex and power. Or we can choose to remember the former and say- Well, shit happens. But there are a lot of nice people in this World. I’m not a practical person, so I don’t mind burning bridges. I can’t think better be nice-God knows who I’ll need next. Practicality, isn’t going to lead me to making a vital conscious decision. But it’s time to decide or get thoroughly burnt out. 

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