Lay in bed last night…exhausted by the heat…wondering what I was doing. ‘ What will you achieve? Whom will this impact? ‘, asked AA, once. ‘Me’, I thought quitely to myself. I am a person plagued by self questioning-keeps me up many a nights.
Woke up feeling lower than usual…it happens a lot. I’m up in the air one minute and feeling like crap the next. Lay in bed liking people’s posts on fb. ‘Aap ki kismat buhat achhi he, bhakti likhi he issme,’ told me the Sadhu Baba, I met on the road. ‘ You people have been telling me this for almost two decades. Bhagwaan bhi bole ge, jo humare pitaji bolte he- ‘Ye meri nahin ho sakti!’ I tell him. He just smiles in response.
Looked at the empty bed next to me. ‘ ‘ Don’t know about the bhakti, some of are just a mix of adventure and loneliness.’