Rebound

It seems like in the long run my closure will come from your silences and my interpretations of them.’ Moi to the Mountain/15th Aug 2012

‘People don’t know how to communicate!’- AA/Sep 2018

‘ One needs to not tell you how well they know you or have the need to know you. As long as a person stands by your side, neither too near nor too far, never probing, you find no need to escape!’- TOWW/ Sep ’18

As all my love stories will unravel in front of you slowly, there will be an underlying theme. The age, backgrounds and qualifications of the men will change but most of them will be ‘good men’. One has always looked at the good ones with hope and one likes to play the bad one, it’s so much more entertaining. But the underlying theme always remains the same. Girl meets boy…boy is nice to girl..girl pushes him away or boy meets girl…girl likes him because he pushes her away. Underlying theme- girl is commitment phobic!

Let me proclaim myself the ‘The queen of the rebound!’ By the time I reached college, I had already been in a string of intense relationships. My track record is a month, that’s how long one has been able to do without a man, not physically but emotionally. From the period between 14-35 it remained that way. Of course one still has male friends and men around but there has been a drastic change. One has always looked at a man with this warped need, to not just be the lover but first and foremost the father, then the mother and after the brother’s death, the child. With that kind of baggage and those expectations, which one has now become painfully aware of, there ain’t a relationship in the world that can survive.

Playing second fiddle only to the brother, the men have played the most significant part, in one’s existence and every other aspect of one’s life has been affected by them. So much so that, by looking at the trajectory of the relationships one can tell how everything else would have played out. The tatoo on the arm is a reminder to be self reliant otherwise, one will become a yoyo, looking for a sense of stability everywhere, other than within and instead of finding it, loosing everything in the bargain. Therefore, henceforth, in conclusion, wild horses will have to drag me that way!

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